The Bluetooth headset is a much needed device, especially in California where the law says that you must use a hands-free device in order to talk on the phone while driving…but there is a distinct difference between a Bluetooth user and what I like to call a “Bluetoofer”
Bluetoofer – |ˈbloōˌtoōfur| noun. One who wears a Bluetooth headset as an accessory?
I’m so glad that the evolution of the Bluetooth Headset has finally steered away from the BLINKING BLUE “I NEED ATTENTION” LIGHT…that used to famously PISS ALL OF US OFF. You know that FOOL up in the club lookin like Levar Burton in Star Trek or somehow acting like he’s talking to Mission Control. As if we all don’t know that he can’t talk to anyone over the loud Lil Jon track Blaring inside the club.
The Bluetooth Headset is the equivalent of what a Beeper was back in the day. It gave the APPEARANCE of IMPORTANCE, until they were available to the Masses, which then diluted the image. Bluetoofers still think that having these gadgets are cool even though local swapmeets carry most of these products now in an under $20 bin.
These are the true characteristics of a Bluetoofer.
- He’s usually someone’s Uncle.
- He’s 35+ Years Old.
- He Might have been a Bus Driver at Some point in his life.
- He wears Mock Turtlenecks / Hardbottom Shoes with Jeans/ Black Leather Jackets
- He greets you with a Pimpy.. “WHAT IT DEW!!!”(even thought he’s too old for that.)
- He Watches a lot of Action Films/CSI Shows
- He looks like he hangs out with Charles Barkley
- He wears Sunglasses in the Club
- He’s an OFF-DUTY PASTOR.
BOTTOM LINE…WHEN YOU’RE DONE…PUT IT IN YOUR POCKET!!
THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS IM COOL WITH..BUT BLUETOOFERS…
….I’M COOL ON THAT!!!!!!
SHOUTOUT TO BLUETOOTHDOUCHEBAG.COM, A FUNNY SITE I FOUND WHEN RESEARCHING A PICTURE FOR MY POST.
imCOOLonTHAT.com 
hahahaha! hilarious! now I know what they are when I see them.
Oh my goodness this is hilarious and so true! Great read for my early morning lol!
Wow that was hilarious
lol seen many like that.
lol! i concur! i hate to see dudes with ’em on at the club too i always thought wtf? they can’t hear you, you can’t hear them…throw that thing away…lol!
What about bluetoofer strippers talking at the cinema ,mate?
LMAO! Hilarious as usual!
TRUE and FUNNY!!! I hate when men try to holla and they have them things in there ear! UGH!!! and its ALWAYS the older men! SMH!!!
OMG reminds me of my Uncle Robbie… like foool nobody is calling yo ass lol
Hahahahahah. U must be in the Glendale area a lot hahahaha they’re all over there!!
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! so true! I have seen them at the clubs, people I work with… its amazing how 1 gadget can make a person feel important… sigh – u gotta love it :)) Funny topic & REAL!
OMG sooooo true and hilarious. Except, I still see those blue flashing lights on bluetoofers on 125th all the time! LOL
That aint right! You completely left out the old foolywag women who still rock these. I see them often! So not cute!
LOL…I knew I wasn’t the only one who felt this way. This was an issue people need to address…lol
bahaaaa I always wondered why men had them damn ear pieces on all the time….I was at a club and saw a big dude with his ear piece in thought he was a bouncer and went over and said dude canyou show me the bathroom, he cussed me out. I said hey you aren’t security, he threw his drink on me what a loser lmaooo He thought he was looking cool,
@Relyn what you mean he threw his drink on you?! damn that is some sad style though…they need to be home on the damn phone if they think they can look cool in the club with a bloody “bluetoof” knowing you cant hear shit and not only that but knowing aint nobody tyrna call yo ass lmao.
That’s the truth! Then when the phone rings they’re digging it out of their pockets to see who it is. Just use the phone. Ha!
You hit that one right on the head!!! I am so cool on bluetoofers!!!! Especially bus stop bluetoofers!!!
Yet another funny, well-written piece. I’m extremely pleased that you touched on this topic. The image of importance and pseudo-status that people attempt to create for themselves is pathetic. But it surely makes for good entertainment for the rest of the world, the non-toofers. I wish you would have touched on those who carry on these conversations using their BTs and appear to be talking to themselves or talking to you, then dramatically point out their BT as if it truly means something. I still have a strong suspicion that a good percentage of these toofers aren’t actually on the phone with anyone and are in fact stunting. These stunters are the lesser of the toofers lol.
Thanks again and looking forward to the next one!
Xo
Nuthin worse than your girlfriend is a closet toofer! Hella tired of sein a blue light blinking in her damn tracks. Dud the shit get stuck in her weave glue or is it sending a secret beacon to the Asian lady at the beauty supply store? WTF?!?!
This is hilarious!!
and the worst ones are the ones with bluetoof and a damn flip phone. How important can u be still walking with a flip phone.
HILARIOUS!!!!!! You r crazy this got tears n my eyes it is so true, they walk around like they doing big business and most of the time its so much interference with the reception that you cant hear anyway! Lol to the bluetoofers!
Funny as hell-right on target… Again! Darrell down the street wears his alllll the time!! Lol I think it’s so he can cover up the fact that he talks to himself.
HEY! I WEAR TURTLE NECKS, JEANS, AND HARD BOTTOM SHOES! Blog is funny though!
Thanks for the link, glad you like the site.
I was just fed up enough about these self important “Bluetoofers” that I ended up creating this site back in July and have had NO shortage of pictures being sent to me on a daily basis.
It’s amazing how many people out there still wear these things thinking they’re adding a level of importance to their otherwise mundane life.
-Brian
BluetoothDouchebag.com Founder
I can imagine. Great site!
hahaha, this is funny. I know a bluetoofer (or two) and didn’t even know it. Thanks for the laughs, your humor is comic relief.
Hahaha @ “usually someone’s Uncle” & “off duty pastor!”
Sometimes i wanna snatch it off their ear just to see if they’re actually just talking to their own voicemail. I got $5 on it that 9 out of 10 are!
Its usually the buff doods too. UNneccessarry accessory. Walkin round the club like he got an important call comin in. Then why the hell u in the club?? U know ur oldest daughter is in there too. Chaperon GTFOH. C’mon Son.
HAHAHAHAHA MY UNCLE CHARLES IS THE ULTIMATE BLETOOFER… HOW THE HELL DO YU HAVE A BLUETOOTH ND YUR DEAF? WTF… FUNNY AS USUAL.
Bluetoofers? lol I think I know about 3 bluetoofers and a mini bluetoofer he uses his while flipping burgers at burger king.
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAhahaha “he looks like he hangs out with charles barkley” HILARITY! Keep up with these posts…it actually helps keep me up and alert at work!
There are several people I’m related to who need an intervention on this right here. One of em had it on at the altar when he was minutes from getting married. His brother called him from a pew on his cell phone to remind him to take it out before he got married. HILARIOUS.
Omg!!!! Soooo funny I had tears … As I was reaing this I see 2 patients come into the clinic as true “Blutoofers”but they were older females LOL either way it still applies
I never comment on these things but i found this so truu..my dad is what he wuld call a blutoofer and he matches the 1st 3 characteristics..hes 45 and a bus driver…
Bluetoofers, flip phones, fast cars it all depends on who you’re trying to impress and how much you can spend. Cause we’re a society that is very interested in what you have. but on a lighter note I think it’s “middle child syndrome”, always trying to get at the limelight but never quite hitting it right like the oldest or the youngest/baby.
lmao at the characteristics! sadly we all know at least one person who fits many if not all these qualities thus making them a “bluetoofer” lol. oh and the graphic that was chosen is so on point with the characteristics its not even funny lmao.
it is my belief that these chumps are AFRAID to miss a call because their phones NEVER really ring.
You’d be amazed at the number of people that don’t realize the bluetoof is not appropriate in church!! I’ve actually reminded a deacon to take his off! Damn shame! Who’s calling you….Jesus?
This… Spot on…
Once, this “up and coming rapper” that was trying to talk to me gave me a copy of his CD… Why was the cover shot him kneeling, throwing up the peace sign like he was taking one of those club photos… with his bluetooth firmly in place…
Okay, what I hate most is when they wear their bluetooth in church or at the dr. office or at a concert! Fool!! Are you really going to answer your phone right now, NO, so take that off!!! And it seems like they get bigger and bigger!!!!! I refuse to even wear one thanks to those who wear them as accessories!!!!!
Oh, and when they wear them at the salon!!!! OMG!!!!
I love to wake up in the morning to find a new post. Waking up to a good laugh is just what I need to start my day.
Guys and manly looking girls always rock those damn Bluetooth in their ears…I hate that! They look like a joke LOL! Instant turn off!
This is funny! I am personally annoyed by “bluetoothers” who burst into random cell phone conversations in public. Does everyone need to hear you hating on your ex or about the crime you and your homie are planning.
hahahahahaha
1. These blogs are like the crack pipe to me.
2. I saw about 3 culprits on the bus going to work yesterday!
Hilarious….. Great post!!!!
lmao that shit is too funny!!! thats exactly howthem old niggas be too!
*dead* at “Toofers” hahaha
OMG i laughed so hard at this! I just keep saying UNCLE!!! Why don’t my white uncles do it though? Just my black uncles – damnit. I refuse to date a guy who is a bluetoof head.
LMAO….”He looks like he hangs out with Charles Barkley”!!!! So true!!!!!!
That shit looks retarded. I refuse to do it. BIG ASS flashing light in your ear. WTF?
lmfao I was just thinking about those people that always got it on like is it really that serious that you need it while you’re walking? Personally, I only use mine in the house when I want to use my laptop comfortably but that bluetooth does not leave this house at all lol
Hysterical! I will admit Nile, you caught me with my bluetoof in my ear in my pix! I aint ashamed, but damn, I be forgetting that stupid thing is in my ear! At $120.00 I better forget that thing is in my ear, cause it better have top of the line comfort and sound for that price! Jawbone Bluetoof foooools!! LOL
HILARIOUS POST!
may i also add for the female bluetootfers:
– she rock long acrylic nails in colors like “Red Hot Orange” & “Pecan Frost”
– she is 35 years or older
– she says things like “please believe me.”
– she has a license plate holder that says “Respect & Protect The Black Woman” and a Betty Boop bumper sticker.
HYYYYSTERICAL!!!
Comical…people should go around and just start snatching them out of people’s ears.
I don’t care what the law says. Pick up the phone. I don’t want to hear your conversation anyway. Just another reason & way for dudes to floss what they have or want us to believe they have as they loud talk screaming into an earpiece. Women need to cut it out too.
True True True. Bluetoofers bother me! LOL! Also unless you’re driving…pick up the damn phone! It kills me to see folks walk-around looking like a schizo talking to themself. And by the way…if you’re in a large group of people, step yo a$$ aside to talk on your phone instead of talking about 15 other people as if we need to hear your conversation.
I try to save that little raggedy battery in mine so when the call is over, it goes off! Plus I don’t wanna be calling nobody on accident… You should turn yours off too. A flashing blue light in my eyes when I’m never sober is never good. Kill dat ish! Oh yeah, stop talkin’ so dayum loud. They can hear you just fine dawg.
That is sooo funny!! Those are the things I DONT miss about California!! Thanks Nile!!!
Hella funny and true. Why do people feel the need to walk around with these things…that little blinking blue light catches me off guard sometimes. I’m even embarrassed to use my Bluetooth in the car and only do it when I HAVE to for work.
HA! yeah, its a weird society .. those “Toofer’s”
This is to funny…. But very true!!!
lmao mock turtle necks and a bus driver. omg man if you see all the afrcians with the blue tooth here in dc you will die laughing, You are an awesome writer
LMAO @ “he someone’s uncle” cuz my Uncle Mack does that! lol
Yo Nile once again you are right on point wit this!
Lmao this is so true. And they always walk like they are Billy Dee
LMAO….I just saw a guy like that at the club last nite and he has 4 f te characteristics! I personnally have never used one. I believe that in about 15 years ppl who have used them over 2 years will have some kind of brain or hearing issues. That’s too many waves goin to anyones head.
I HATE these dudes! The best is when the wanna-be-black white chicks have them in thinking they will get respect in the community. WHACK! Segway to your next unofficial topic…WHIGGERS! Why we hate the word, but people think it’s so cool. Suck it society!
LMAO! you just described at least 3 men at my job…mock turtlenecks/hard sole shoes/leather jackets…and don’t forget the 3 gold chains on the outside of the shirt! very entertaining writing!
LMAO @ off duty pastor! made my freakin day!!
You never disappoint Nile!! “What is DEW”…LMAO!!
How about “What IT DEW”..see what happens when I attempt to multitask as 6:45 am…LOL
This is soooo true!! You are hilarious. You always make me LQTM (laugh quietly to myself). Lets be real, who really LsOL when they by themselves???
man!! lmao im a gs station clerk & i see someone like this at least 15-20 times a nite. Dead
You just discribed half of the men riding the NYC subway…I never uderstood why people wear them in the subway and there is NO underground reception.
Funny as always Nile!!!!
LOL!!!! I hate that sh*t!… I see that all over in NJ!!!
Like, I think my dad got 4 of those characteristics down from the list! Haha! I hate that people buy them just to wear it, but they obviously don’t know how to set it up or talk on it, at one point he actually took it off his ear and started yelling into it…smh, oldies…
This is High-Freakin-Larious!! I see this all day err’day and all I can do is shake my head and say why?! Good one Nile! You are so funny, and on point with all of your twitter posts and blogs. I’m loving what you do! Keep it up.. So glad I found you on twitter you’ve made my twitter experience great!! My fave is #platemaker and #juicebringer!!
I’m a proud owner of put it in my pants when I’m done!
I was watching a reality show over the w/e and this dude had one displayed in his ear during the entire show. In the house, at the club, in church! WTH!? I hate to see them displayed just as much as you do. Hilarious read and oh so true!
Hilarious!”He looks like he hangs out with Charles Barkley!” LMAO!
I hate those people, I don’t even put my bluetooth on until I get a call bcuz of those people!!!!!!
LMAO I thought I was the only one annoyed by BLUETOOFERS 😀
the worst is when they have two phones…one bluetoof in each ear….would that be BLUETEEFS ??
This is too funny! I know a couple of “Bluetoofers” that think they are so important walking around talking, knowing good and darn well they talking to their Momma. Whew, thanks for this laugh.
OMG My uncle is definitely a Bluetoofer lmfao…this is some true shit
Lmfao check this out, my uncles don’t drive or even own a god damn car but has a fuckin bluetooth on while she navigates her stroller!!!
hilarious blog man …
I have too friends that are “bluetoofers” but never seem to answer the phone when people call. Unless you’re the president you’re not that damn important. Please write some new posts soon.
My friends and I make fun of blue toofers as well. I don’t understand why they think it’s supposed to accent their outfits.
Oh hell no……..Please make it STOP!!!!!!!!!!! I can’t take it!
I’ve been guilty of leaving mine in a few times. I must just have a comfortable one because I forget it’s in my ear honestly.
LMBO!! This was an awesome read and very much on point. A friend of mine has one that looks like he should be working as a receptionist lol. Thank you for speaking out on this lol
too many bluetoofers in gaslamp quarter hahaha…
Love Ur description of a “Bluetoofer”
i detest the light skinned dude in the pic. blehgh