#6 GHETTO BABY NAMES

17 12 2009

There are common and uncommon names, in the world, but one thing I am sure of, is that there is some little Black Girl who is about to take her first breath into the world…see the first person in her world… and hear the worst name anyone could ever think of… in the World. “Oooh Girl! Yo new baby La-Tayshaniquamanesha is so beautiful” …Unfortunately her Mother and “Absentee” Father have set her up for a LIFE FAIL. To help avoid this we can follow a couple simple rules:

1. Do not try to mix your two names together. Shawn+Jeanetta does not = Shawnetta.  Kenya + Andre does not = Kendre [This is not a 90’s R&B Group (ex. BellBivDevoe or Jodeci)…this is your CHILD!]

2. Avoid the Prefix De, D’, La, Tay [Your not French or Italian]

3. Avoid the Suffix -isha  -ika -ita -etta -ay

4. Do not name your child after a car, type of purse or cologne or a dumb ass NOUN.

5. Avoid Actors and Athletes. We have enough Kobe’s and Beyonce’s to go around now.

See, names like that don’t make it to the Suburbs. They don’t go to College. They get pregnant at 16 just like her mother did…BECAUSE SHE CAME INTO THE WORLD  DISADVANTAGED,  AND NOT IN FINANCE, BUT IN MONIKER.

We all know the ramifications of having a BAD name, whether it’s BEING THE BUTT OF JOKES, EVERYONE KNOWING THAT YOU ARE FROM THE HOOD, OR MOST COMMONLY GETTING A JOB OTHER THAN THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRY.

But WHITE PEOPLE shouldn’t think they are exempt. These celebrities  Chris Martin (Coldplay) and Gweneth Paltrow named their child “APPLE”. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: RUMER, TALULLAH BELL and SCOUT???? WOWZERS!… And fellow Black Celebrities like Tony Braxton with children named “Deizel” and “Denim”. This Broad named her kids Gas and Jeans!

Lets be creative People!! You don’t have to name your child, Sydney or Madison which I now group as GHETTO TRANSITION names, since some of these Hood Children damn sure don’t fit those names.  All I ask is that you be CREATIVE and MEANINGFUL, so that if the name does sound Mildly Ghetto, they can redeem it by saying  “KELAKAYKAY” means “Beautiful Spirit” in Swahili (*side eye look*)

My name is Nile (not NILES), a it’s a very self explanatory name and it’s of African descent. It’s originality makes it a creative choice, since there are not many that have the name, but it’s more AWESOME  because… I’M FUCKIN FINE!!! But anyway…

These are some ACTUAL GHETTO NAMES I have heard of and come across:

  1. Peter Rabbit – This is come real childrensbook bullshit, but an actual name of a person I know.
  2. Nemesis – Beautiful little girl with a HELL of a name.
  3. Candida – Wikipedia : Of ..“YEASTS” and not cookin yeasts.
  4. And the best of all is pronounced “Ab-suh-dee” but spelled… “ABCD”
  5. MAN, WHAT THE FUCK?!ABCD??  Maybe it would be more fitting if her name was: “ABCDENT” …because that’s what she was!! Yet, I digress…

THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS I’M COOL WITH…..BUT GHETTO BABY NAMES???… I’M COOL ON THAT!!!!

*PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT BELOW!!!*

@NileEvans on Twitter

COPY & SHARE ON TWITTER : http://bit.ly/GHETTOBABYNAMES

photo credit :karim Iliya

Advertisements

Actions

Information

218 responses

17 12 2009
Jessica B.

See this is what I was just talking to a friend of mine about…She’s 21 and on her 2nd child. We had decided to name her first child Ericka Nicole…But when I got to the hospital the damn baby name turned into T’Ericka or some bullshit…My mama has 14 biological children and thee closest she ever came to a ghetto name is Niesha. Why can’t people be more reasonable with what they name their children…Eff all that creative me…Or what they think is creative lmao…I hate when I meet ppl with children with hard to pronounce bullshit for names..Ugh…And I digress…My friend is having a son and I told her to go with something from the bible so the child’s name can mean something..And can u believe she turned down every one..And the bible is a big ass book lmao! All I know is whenever I have children they will have sensible names but not any old shit like Paul lol…J/p

Anywho this is good shit…!

18 12 2009
qt0407

This is a very very delayed topic & it’s mad laughter to post it on your blog! LMAOOO! Every name you mentioned was met with my various expressions – “WTF”, “HELL NO”, occasional re-reading & I’m certain I mispronounced everyone of them-God forgive me! Let me just say Asians are no different! Yup, they get carried away just the same… Let’s not go too far, for example my name has 3 different names not inclusive of my dad’s name yet. For a 5’1 lady, that’s alot of name to carry! I don’t want to publish my full name but I can give u their abbreviations so you know what must look like on my exam papers! My wrists actually hurt when I have to take History exams because student names are to be written on ALL pages! Here goes : Sha***** Sh******** Ja***** Bte Sy** Z** Im a Muslim so “Bte” means daughter of, check out how short my dad’s name is as compared to my 3 NAMES! The asteriks represents the alphabets in my name. I guess being first born, my grandparents & my parents wanted ALL their choices included-God Bless their souls! I wasn’t spared by my classmates or teachers either, the constant topic of WHY is my name so longgggg! Well, how the heck should I know? Did I have any say in it at that moment in time? Duh! Was I spared as an adult in the work force – What do you think? Of course the hell not! From my bosses to my colleagues to the clients – LOL! I felt like 7 all over again, smh! Filling up forms for any kind of application was always met with this response “Wah! Your name so long man! You got space or not to write?” Till this day that sentence never fails to make me blush -LOL! Anyway, it got to a point where my first name is now shortened to just 3 alphabets which is Sha! So all my friends, colleagues & bosses rejoice to that fact. Perhaps my dad’s Arab heritage had something to do with it! All in all, Im still thankful that with all that length, my name has a meaning. LOL – I’m sorry, I’m NOT telling 😛
Reading your blog made me laugh & reminisce!! Good one, I enjoyed reading it!! Parents to be – Please spare a thought when choosing names for your future generation because it can make it or break it for that poor kid!! smh! LMAOO!!!

17 12 2009
NiMA

my favorite baby name:
La-a
(pronounced la-dash-uh)….
horrible name fail….
I’ve met 2…
PLEASE stop…

17 12 2009
@sprstar0608

Omgee, this is exactly what I was gonna say. U mean to tell me there are other people in the world with this horrifying name (La-a). I got CUSSED OUT for pronouncing this name wrong! La-dash-uh come on now REALLY?!?

18 12 2009
Stacey

blank stare. for real? “La-a”??? wow.

17 12 2009
Rick

* blank stare*

3 02 2010
brystal

are you freaking kidding me, I was so confused at first, Ladasha is that even legal rotflmao literally, smh!

12 02 2010
karen alise

My goodness! My friend told me this name existed but I didn’t believe. What the dickens!

17 12 2009
J

that is some truth for you. The greatest gift my parents ever gave me was the name Jeremiah….you can’t judge me on that name alone.

17 12 2009
Preme

I agree with the being born into failure because of your name. I’m pretty sure jobs, Twitter, or even MEN are not looking for a Quayshauntay. Shit, Quayshauntay sounds bad for ANY job. (Watch a Quay come here and curse me out LOL)
I’ve seen some crazy names in my day…but “ABCD” ?!?!
Their moms HAD to be watching Sesame Street while smoking crack. “Today’s letter is D, yesterday C, the day before? B, and A. I KNOW! IT’LL BE ABCD! GENIUS! One reason why I’ll NEVER stop smokin’ this shit!”

Keep posting man. I love these reads.

17 12 2009
Preme

My father made sure I didn’t have a regular or a “slave” name. He made sure there was meaning behind it. My name “Lateef” means Man of Peace or Man of Peaceful nature, which is pretty much how I live my life. I commend him for that. My name may have played a major part in how I turned out through adolescence; So the names these children are given may play a part in how their life turns out.
The thing about all of this, the names are only gonna’ get worse.

17 12 2009
MzLilphat

HILL-LARRY-US, it is sad, but true. What I think is funny are the people that think they are being soooo creative, but 500 miles away in a hood much like your own she too named her twins boys Maybach and Mascato. LMAO….Come on people we gotta do better. For GODSAKE stop IT!!!! Sidebar: Dis cat said GAS N JEANS….ROTFL…Good ish Nile

17 12 2009
jusmaryT

Not too sure how to respond as im a white woman living in Australia. I have four children Caitlin, Will, Braiden and Tyler all pretty normal names BUT i’ve already picked out names (just incase) Boy- Levi (yes like the brand) and Summer for a girl….I agree some parents don’t really put enough thought into naming their children…and at school children can be so cruel by the time they are old enough to change by deed poll most of the name calling and damage is done. Think twice parents, please.

17 12 2009
SwaggaRight.

LMAO! This guy is FUCKIN hilarious!!!!! I follow him on Twitter and he follows back. I ReTweet some of his shit if its funny. He retweeted a couple of mine too. But yeaa I’m typin too much lol. but continue to do ya shit my man…..I’m out…

PS…I’M FUNNIER!!!!! Lol.

17 12 2009
Jo

I am glad some1 agrees. When I was n middle school I had a classmate whose name was Shawntawntakweela Retishego Evans…..boy was that funny. And I am now n college and had a classmate named Bomquiesha Tika-Tequila, I dnt understand why ppl do this to their children, it is a shame, a funny1.

17 12 2009
LolaGina

You fail your child by setting them up w/ these names. Even if they are NOT as ghetto as their parents any potential employer will take 1 look @ the name & toss the application. Their are enough road blocks for minorities – w/ these names your shut down B4 your even considered!!

17 12 2009
M.Ramos

prefix and suffix: drop those and you’ll fix more than half the name problems. Clever, Mr. Evans.

17 12 2009
Shahetul C

This is funny, but true. I’m gonna have to hand out copies of this guide to people before they start trying to get too creative and it backfires on their kid. My names a little different, but it’s not ghetto as La-Tayshaniquamanesha hahahaha that shit is funny as hell!!

17 12 2009
Keana

Lol i can relate me and my sister hav ghetto names my name is Keanakay (key-on-a-kay) and my sister’s name is K’Daunjonee (k-dawn-janay) i hated my name growing up and i’m proud to say my daughter has a normal name(kasey) i just spelled it differently (khaysi) i dont think this makes me as bad as my mother because i havent had any problems with anybody pronouncing her name…

17 12 2009
mmg/purplegorila

Man this has got to be the main down fall of young parents lol
What are we comingto fuckin comical
Like tyronda regagina I guess the parents don’t want the kid to have a job

17 12 2009
DeeA'na

Abcd, in high school my bff wanted to name her daughter this and in all my ghetto glory, I was like, “mmmhm gurul (u know, the ghetto way we pronounce girl)! That is kah-youte!” On another note, PLEASE say Peter Rabbit was a joke!!!! Smdh @ this madness. U did it again Nile! Btw, don’t 4get the suffix -qua.

17 12 2009
Brandy

Nile you’re a fucken genius!!!This has always been a urgent issue i felt need to be addressed.We have a similar problem in Africa,bitter parents name their kids shit like Mabvuto which means “problems”, i mean WTF???How is your child supposed to proudly carry that name through their life?
my african name is Mbawaka which means “they are useless”-yes and i have no fucken idea who “they” are.The looks ive gotten when i tell people that!priceless.ive jus stopped introducing myself as Mbawaka so i dont get the “what does it mean?” questions.my granma named me after herself and my parents weren’t about to piss her off by rejecting it.God bless her but i go by Brandy only now!
as for ghetto names if the spelling is unknown,let it go!!!
I like names with meaning as well but the meanings should make sense!
lmao at : “they can redeem it by saying “KELAKAYKAY” means “Beautiful Spirit” in Swahili (*side eye look*)” and : “This Broad named her kids Gas and Jeans!” fucken hilarious!!!

17 12 2009
robin

that is bananas! i think people forget at some point their kids gotta fill out applications…. oh wait my kids are Sunday Joy and Eden Rose… do I fit in this category?

19 12 2009
Sonia

I’m so cool on that…I get comments on my daugthers name all the time,by other black folks asking me “what’s up with your daughters name”…Did I mention her name is Shelby…Niles WTF

17 12 2009
robin

p.s. that picture is priceless!

17 12 2009
Brandale

My Ghetto name NOT served me well. It is traumatizing as hell to have to look thru those lil license plates at Disney and NOT find your name. Sadly buyin a Brandon & a Dale plate got old by 9, had to let being regular go. I am now severely demented. Parents, only YOU have the power to change this. Don’t let your child grow up dememted, give him a name that doesn’t scare white ppl on top of a resume. …

17 12 2009
Brandi Magee

I went to high school in NC with a guy named Peter Rabbit.

17 12 2009
Jennifer

You really need a bunch of teachers to weigh in on this one. I’ve had the following kids:

Biance (pronounced Beyonce)
Daquerria
TaJaNai and her sister TaNaiJa (how do I teach her capital letters only come at the beginning of a word?)
Teontaye
Daekwon
Sweetness (“who is Walter Payton? Like candy!”)
Nevaeh (heaven spelled backwards. Suffice it to say, she’s a child from hell)

Boys have it better. They can become professional athletes.
Knowshon, Plaxico, LaDanian, Cadillac

18 12 2009
Mackenzie

LOL – the pediatric nurses on my mom’s job have a running list of some of the craziest names that walk into the clinic … some of my faves …

“Gods Will”
“Dependent”
“Money Brown” (simply shameful)
“Pleasure in Paradise” (should we buy her a pole now or later?)
“Lemonjello and Oranjello” (twins – pronounced “La-mon-jalow and Oran-jalow” and the mom apparently had the gall to get mad if you said “lemon jello” Come on people if you’re going to do this to your kids at least be willing to admit it!

21 12 2009
PokerSnitch

Wow. SMH. I have a client. Last name is Sult…her first and middle name is Pepper Ann…I actually thought it was cute…and WE* not the only ones that do this to our children. But it must stop. LOL.

16 05 2012
D

Someone must work in Albany, Georgia because someone who works at a clinic told me about Orangejello and Lemonjello. I thought they were lying.

16 05 2012
D

D’Zyre and Kavosie (pronounced Courvosier) are some winners. A kid once asked me how did I get her sisters name on my jacket (it was an Enyce jacket.)

19 12 2009
JuJuan Bolding

OMG Jennifer, you are making my side hurt!! Hysterical! “TaJaNai and her sister TaNaiJa (how do I teach her capital letters only come at the beginning of a word?”) I made many a teachers suffer trying to pronounce my name correctly. Eventually they gave up and only used my nickname (JJ) which was on my school records. *sigh*

17 12 2009
kimberly

Boy am I glad my mama has sense! I have a normal name & so does my daughter! Some of these names are atrocious! Y do we do this to our precious brown babies? Do we just not want them to succeed on life? SMFH!!!

3 04 2010
Aja

Same here! I am thankful too. I mean I am not ashamed to put my name on my resume. At the same time, I did meet some folk who were ashamed that their parents were dumb enough to not think about their futures beyond “misguided creativity”!!!

17 12 2009
MsVegasGirl

Nile- to mean champion or under the wall as a secret it all depends on which origin you want to believe….lmao. I met a lady name LaTrasha, I looked at her because I thought I had heard her wrong and again she repeated “LaTrasha”. I said hello and in my mind I was thinking yeah you look like a LaTrasha well more like a precious now that I think about it.

What Happened to named like Eli, Elijah, Paul, Sarah, Hannah, Matthew. Names that are strong and mean something,Women naming children cars they can not afford and naming her sunshine when her child looks like a horror movie. Just joking all kids are special in their own way.

Seriously as much as you want to give your child a different unique , ethnic name rethink that. We say race does not matter but when your child starts to compete in the employment industry 8 out of ten resumes are looked over just based alone if your name is ethnic sounding. Yes it is true if you are a shenoquika competing with a Sarah her resume will reach the top of the file.

lmao nile again a great blog

17 12 2009
Ms.Shera

All I can say is LMAO, and my name is Arabic meaning Light. Thanx mommy 🙂

17 12 2009
Maria$exy

Nile you are on point as usual with this one! I agree be creative! I have seen the following as first names: Echo Bear, Navy Blue, Transparent, Silverglade, Rowdy, Fairy, and my favorite male names : Delicious and Jelly!
LMAO@ Gas and Jeans
and yes you are FINE!!!

17 12 2009
Parfine

Lol @ the name “ABCD”….that poor child is definitely set up for failure! Name are very important for certain reasons..jobs and school…parents are actually setting their kids back by naming all these crazy names!

17 12 2009
lovelyprac

Yeah that is crazy gas and jeans. That boy is going to get older and be like “what the hell was you thinkin when u name me that”

17 12 2009
80sbabynish

OMG!!! ABCD??? Nemesis?? Are u serious?! LMFAO!! These can not be tha names of somebody’s kids!! Smh…its a shame bc I’m related 2 sum ppl who destroyed their children’s future w/ ghetto ass embarassing names & LYING telling folks tha name means sumthn legit! C’mon ppl we gotta do better!! Its funny as hell but ridiculous nonetheless!! I went 2 skool w/ a chic named She’Wayna!! )Yes her mothers name was Sherie & her fathers name was Wayne…FAIL!! LOL!

17 12 2009
Melissa

I am thankful my parents were decent enough to name me “Melissa”. As a child I would complain to my Dad about my “white” sounding name…the other day, while on fb I noticed 183 people with my same name and I was the ONLY black one…my Dad assured me it was “for my own good!”….after I met my former co-workers “Tequilla” and “Shameka” I thank God and my parents for giving me a chance…

17 12 2009
Floorless

Maaaaan way to funny but even more so true….who the hell names their kids an article of clothing?!? I’ve heard of cars….next people are going to start naming their kids they can’t afford….Mortgage??

17 12 2009
Janae

Oh Gawd, I’m dead. Too funny!

17 12 2009
Britanny

Boy oh boy where to start…Now if my people see this they’re gonna be mad @ me! But it is what it is and I hope they read this!!!

Now 2 of my friends just named their baby girls Kiyadi (Key-ah-dee) and Adalina (Add-uh-leena). The latter sounds like salad dressing, the former; some sort of donkey. But it gets worse…

I’ve come across a LaShanisha (I’m guessing LaToya, Shawn, and Tanisha), a lady named Topeka (thats where I live) and a step back–Shominiqua. I guess her mama (maybe named Dominique) got pregnant while dining at a Shoney’s Restaurant???

Last but most def not least….we have my moms poor eccentric friend named Evelyn. Normal name, right? I will list the names of her children from oldest to youngest how they appear on their birth certificates:
1. Romance 2. Jamariquai 3 & 4. Delicious & Desire (twins!) 5. Little Kendall 6. Baby Kendall & poor little man–7. King Kendall Ice Cool Seven. Someone needs to tie this lady’s tubes immediately. (The last 3’s names are Kendall because they all have the same father. Duh…) I tell no lies… come to Topeka (Kansas, that is) and find out!

18 12 2009
Yadi

Yeah that lady don’t need any more kids!!!! Whata Hell!!!! This is the reason why in Sweden the authorities have to approve the names first!

I’m African and my name isn’t that hard to pronounce..

I must say that BOMQUISHA takes the prize! SMH!!!

21 12 2009
PokerSnitch

So true. My friend married a man from Germany and their child was born there. They could not name their daughter Louiza an old family name because it was not on their books. They had to get the great great great somebody’s birth certificate from down south America to show proof the name existed. Took months but they eventually got to name her.

17 12 2009
Alma C

Well this was funny as heck and I’m glad Nile exists and writes, he makes me feel like I’m not alone or CRAZy when I say such things out loud! I have ONE child and her name is Naomie Feliu. I am anal compulsive by nature so I took my time!!! Wrote it out in script & bold letters, typed it on a word doc, inserted it into a resume format, changed the fonts to see which spelling looked best, seriously at 22 I did ALL that. Take your time! Think it through!!
1. Sorry but I feel hella uncomfortable letting her play with the little girl around the corner named Chardonnay or the other one named Monet! Not because of the kids but bcuz of what type of parents they have. To me it says their parents didn’t give a rats ass about their future! So naw I don’t want u chillin with my child.
2. I’m an HR Manager, I’ve noticed how much the name matters!! Don’t get it twisted!! It matters!! U think I’m gonna hire Chardonnay to babysit my kid? Nope. To be my receptionist and say “good morning this is Chakanaynay” to my execs?! Nope.
This is reality, this is the kind of world we live in & setting up our children to more judging bcuz we think its cute or clever (itsnot!!!) Or bcuz it makes u think u r more bound to get that object (kanye- named ure child A-Lexus) just stop! Yes ok to be ethnic but GHETTO!

17 12 2009
Alma C

Well this was funny as heck and I’m glad Nile exists and writes, he makes me feel like I’m not alone or CRAZy when I say such things out loud! I have ONE child and her name is Naomie Feliu. I am anal compulsive by nature so I took my time!!! Wrote it out in script & bold letters, typed it on a word doc, inserted it into a resume format, changed the fonts to see which spelling looked best, seriously at 22 I did ALL that. Take your time! Think it through!!
1. Sorry but I feel hella uncomfortable letting her play with the little girl around the corner named Chardonnay or the other one named Monet! Not because of the kids but bcuz of what type of parents they have. To me it says their parents didn’t give a rats ass about their future! So naw I don’t want u chillin with my child.
2. I’m an HR Manager, I’ve noticed how much the name matters!! Don’t get it twisted!! It matters!! U think I’m gonna hire Chardonnay to babysit my kid? Nope. To be my receptionist and say “good morning this is Chakanaynay” to my execs?! Nope.
This is reality, this is the kind of world we live in & setting up our children to more judging bcuz we think its cute or clever (itsnot!!!) Or bcuz it makes u think u r more bound to get that object (kanye- named ure child A-Lexus) just stop! Yes ok to be ethnic but NOT GHETTO!

17 12 2009
monae

ok monet is not that ghetto…my name is spelled monae and im not ghetto and neither is my mother…lol

18 12 2009
Alma C

you said not THAT ghetto?? but still KINDA Ghetto?!?! 🙂 Just saying, painters are part of it too: Monet – because thats your favorite painter?!?! (side eye)

17 12 2009
Erin

Hilarious!

You should add Rule #6: There is only ONE Barack Obama. NO Baracks, Obamas, or derivitaves or these (ie. Barackanesha, Lashobama)!!!

17 12 2009
MiaC

LOLOL – I just had to throw an “LOL” in here at ‘Lashobama’!!!

Good ish

18 12 2009
Brandy

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!lawd have mercy on that child!!!

18 12 2009
Stacey

lashobama…lol…too late i’m sure…you know there’s got to be a few of them out there already!

18 12 2009
ShaneeSez

CLASSIC. U know this is coming. SO FUNNY…BARACKANESA!!! I luv it!

17 12 2009
Kali

I did grow up in the hood and have noticed that my friends with ghetto names such as Peaches and her twin sister Cream ended up working at the Wild Goose, while my other friends Valerie and Jeanine ended up going to college and making good money…Hmmmm? Something to think about.

17 12 2009
Cameron

I am so glad this was said! My parent’s, well my mom, gave me a decent name, and I am so glad, because if I had to present myself at an interview, and say, “Hello, my name is Ty’Quan”, it would be curtains! Lmao @ gas and jeans! Also I’ve met a “Tracnesha”, and I would never call anyone La-a.. Ever.

17 12 2009
Rachel

O FO SHO but I am also cool on Celebrity names like:
Winter Glide Systematic Frog Whip….. Smith-Jolie

17 12 2009
Rachel

I meant celebrity offspring names like: Torrential Pear Belly Raider…… Smith-Jolie. These are just random pulled outa my ass names, but I wouldn’t doubt it and I put Smith to let you know it was a last name and Jolie cuz well we all know Y I put Jolie. lol.

17 12 2009
Shakara

Very funny and true. Having a “ghetto” name can get your resume passed right over… I barely made it… maybe! lol Good thing there are a few different pronunciations of my name. The white folks call me sha-car-ah instead of sha-care-ah and I just go with it. lol

17 12 2009
Jini

I’ve always wondered about baby naming techniques. After growing up with people always making fun and saying my name wrong, I vow to give my kids creative yet easy names that people can’t screw up or turn into something stupid. I picked two names and my brother took them both…Back to the drawing board.

17 12 2009
taylor

Lmfaoo !
This made my dayy.
I know a girl named L’A !
Pronounced La – DASH – A.
Real talk.
This is all a damn shame.

17 12 2009
Rick

ABCD. AB-suh-Dee. Is the end all name of the universe. If the world does end in 2012…(which it won’t) the last kid ever born, and first to judgement will be THAT NIGGA.

17 12 2009
Tamisha

OMG,I totally agree my mother named me Tamisha because my brother couldn’t pronounce Alicia {I know right} even though Alicia is any better. I hated my name but have come to terms because it doesn’t define me,and I’m not going to even tell u my middle name{smh} but I must put out there I am nor will I ever be a “a baby mama”I am a college student my mother also is an educated women my father is absent {couldn’t care less} but I do know how it feels to be blacklisted because of your name, and trust I know a lot of keke’s.anjeliquia’s,jamarions who fell into the category,but anywhoo the post was funny I read it to my white co-worker her jaw dropped she said those names are unique I said no Unique is the girl working at front desk lol keep’em comin’ they keep me laughin’ 🙂

17 12 2009
Julie

Nile,
Great material as usaul. Here’s one for you and it’s no joke
TopRamenisha—-for real…guess the mama was on some top ramen when she was pregnant…smh

17 12 2009
symone

ok i know a family and this is all the kids names……
princess
precious
special
and the son name is bodacious..lmao

17 12 2009
monae

ok i know this family and this is all of the children names…..
princess
precious
special
and the son name is bodacious….lmao

17 12 2009
Slap K.

Yo, shouts to the big homie Nile Evans! The baby names is real life shit! People tend to get a little (or moreso aggressively) carried away. I hope a vast amount of people read this & share the knowledge lol it is much needed! Real talk!! Keep doin’ ya thang big homie! 1Love

SK

17 12 2009
Mo Hiromoto

Nile you never fail me hahahaha u right tho, someone told me they had a little girl in a kindergarten class and her name was no doubt…… Cash Monay…. Umm Lil Wayne couldn’t even get a pass for that one

17 12 2009
Meme

Too funny! I’ve heard some crazy names but “ABCD” takes the cake!

17 12 2009
A-Dub

i kid u not i have a friend that named her daughter tequilla and another that named her son Remy.. WTF?

17 12 2009
Marlenie

LOL..wow..So true my friend just had a baby at the young ripe age of 21 and she was having a rough time trying to name her child. She was going to name him all sorts of ghetto names..being that her name is Kisha and she is black it kinda fits..but she ended up naming her son Marcus which is respectable..But i definitely agree people need to put more thought and meaning into the names of their children.. What people need to learn is you do not have to name your child at the hospital. I don’t know how long you have but wait, lets say 2 days watch your child within his/her first two days of birth and then decide on a name that fits.. Just my thoughts..

17 12 2009
Nikki

OK now this was funny!! But I cant be laughin cause my name is beyond crazy! Imma hate to give this out but cant nothin me worst then ABCD! My cousin named me LAKEMYETTE ( LA-KEY-ME-YET ) BUT I DONT THINK ITS GHETTO! Its unique..just like everyother person would say about there name! But I actually like it! It sucks cause my brother name is BRYCE and my sisters are Alexus and Brittany something so simple!

My family is known for crazy names tho
Lakemyette
Victashia
Indica
LaTanja
Tarji
Kadolphie
JUST PLAIN CRAZY!

17 12 2009
@iRocSLEVerySexi

Lmao! You DAMN sho right! I work @ a hospital and i see this CONGFOOLERY all the time! Like just today this lil broad named her baby Deiz’Maijyah! I’m thinkin BITCH WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT SAY? So i asked you know this DAMN girl said you pronounce it Dayz My Yah! The J is silent! Oh My Fucking Gosh! Po baby! Pure FUCKERY!

18 12 2009
Melissa

OMFG!!!!! THAT name takes the cake!

21 12 2009
PokerSnitch

“B*TCH WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT SAY?”- LMAO- IROC…I can hear you either saying that out loud FAST and confused, or silently in your head with a d*mn for sure confused look on your face while shaking your head. I kinda like the way it sounds though. Sounds french.

22 01 2010
Keshia Kola

Jeez US!! That’s….that’s..that’s just fucked up!

17 12 2009
BettyCarterFan

Follow the Holy Trinity on Twitter @NileEvans @MarlonLWayans @AffionCrockett — Madd Funny!

Anyways… here’s my contribution: “Ontre” (entree).

SMH (=_=)

17 12 2009
Latrice

You are so right, can’t wait to see how many Barack Obama’s we gonna have.

17 12 2009
LilMamaof3

I have to agree with you..Its to bad that people dont think befor they name their kids. Im a white girl with 3 girls(all are mixed) and their names are “normal” Alana Marie, Allison Mary And Alyssa May…where my sister all 3 of her kids are mixed are have some crazy names my nephew his name is ok its jayden…where my other nephews names is Khalil cortaz lurice and my neice’s name is Saphyra Tari Shelia…people already look at them crazy and they are only 22 months and 1 month its sad…

17 12 2009
Janae

Shout out to my cousins, one whose name actually is Peter Rabbit, little Shitara Jenkins (check the spelling of the first name y’all), LaEssence and LaEbony (they’re twins), and Karannaja.

22 01 2010
Keshia Kola

Come here little shit!

17 12 2009
Beverly

I soo agree.. these names make no sence.. i thank God everyday for my dad naming Beverly (which i hate) and not “Mitsubushi” (hate this 1 even more) like my crazy ass mamma wanted to.. and the funny thing is, she’s not even the typical “ghetto” mom to do somethin like that, maybe that anesthesia had her ass gone!!

17 12 2009
tracy

I hate when people names their kids after the city or state they were conceived

17 12 2009
Miss Charlie

OMG as a teacher I come across some real interesting names:

Abcde – pronounced “Ah-bee-suh-dee”
La-A – Pronounced “La-dash-ah” (just like in an earlier post…smh)
Espn – pronounced “es-pin” smh
Taequon-Don – and if you didn’t add the “Don” he’d ignore you…smh
Shaquanisha
Alize & Moet were twins…smdh
Beletrishia
Henny-Sita – really? you ain’t fooling nobody
CharDonay & Chablis – oddly enough, no relation.

I could go on, there’s a whole lot of babies named after cars & various liquors but C’mon people, seriously…

17 12 2009
Miss Charlie

BTW, yes Abcde was a chubby lil thing so I guess we can forsee her future…smh

17 12 2009
R.A. Lumas

HILARIOUS!! KEEP THEM COMIN NILE!!

17 12 2009
JanetB82

I friggin LOVE this blog!!!! LMFAO It’s funny as hell but a sin at the same time. Parents giving their child names like that is SO sad; and it’s even sadder when you hear someone try to converse their reasoning to you, or get mad when they’re called out on it: “La-Tayshaniquamanesha is a combination of all they grandparents aunts n uncles names! It has meaning!” F*ck outta here. “Freedom of speech?” Cool, how bout freedom from an ass whopping. Freedom to have a shot at whatever career they wanna get into. What also caught my attention was another pet peeve: The way that toddler’s dressed in that pic. What’s up with the baby thug attire? Kid doesn’t know what’s happening, parent thinks it’s cool… Meanwhile, leave ppl wondering “wtf was goin through this parents mind when they dressed this child this morning?” Nothing wrong with workin hard n spending money on your kid but damn, why not get a ‘toddler appropriate’ chain in replacement of the 10lb one that can’t be good for a wobbly growing toddler posture and spend it on the education/savings/etc that they’d actually benefit from.
You wanna spend time concocting a name that’s has potential to f*ck em up, at least spend an equal amount of time to plan for the repercussions of it.
Can’t wait 4 the next post LOL!
Follow this dude on Twitter too… DAILY HILARITY

17 12 2009
T. MIles

You have never lied! These black a** names are the worst! I work for the court system and half of the time we can’t pronounce the names and the parents have the nerve to get an attitude because its been mispronounced. Well, I’m sorry but the child’s name didn’t have any vowels in it so I couldn’t say it and please don’t get me started on spelling the names with a Y instead of an I. I too am a victim of the ghetto name syndrome. Good stuff Nile.

17 12 2009
Frill Mayne

Thats bananas… keep the posts comin… we need to give these people a wake up call lmao

17 12 2009
Twahp

You killed this one. nuff said.

17 12 2009
Audizzle

There are some hum-dingers out there! I’ve heard Z-Force, T-Starr, Quo’Vadis… I can go on and on but the new names like Cazjmonae and Amillyen are no better. Back to normal please!

17 12 2009
Andrea

Your right, White people are not exempt!…..My cousin named her child after a Russian woman, Schnshellinita pronounced (Shawn shell i nita) loooool. That’s ghetto in American and Russian. Another cousin is naming her child after the Fictional Don Corleone! OMG! Why?! That poor child!

17 12 2009
Josh B.

This shit is funny but at the sane time oh so true. What has black Anerica come to??? This is a disgrace and a damn shame…

17 12 2009
szigidigi

shit. this 1 is great.
europe ppl not talking in english don’t have that problem.
especially in my country.
we use only “catholic names” what means if there wasn’t such saint child could not have that name.

18 12 2009
Melissa

My grandmother named all of her children after Saints…and my poor Uncle “Jude” was called “Judy” throughout elementary…the trip part is, they went to Catholic school…sorry Grandma, I’m cool on naming your kid “Jude” (cuz he’s not a Saint!)

17 12 2009
Afrokween2

Yo I was just having this convo 2 weeks ago…it should be considered child abuse to set ur kids up for failure by naming them sumthin just effed up..love the blog hilarious.

18 12 2009
nik

i 2nd that

17 12 2009
christina

lmao. all i can say is WOW!!!!! the shyt is so true that its funny

17 12 2009
Twalkuf

Death to all ghetto names! Think about your children holding that big yellow pencil in kindergarten and missing recess because it takes 14 minutes to write their ghetto name!
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
What happened to John or Steven or Jessica?
I’m all about being unique but the names have gotten OUT OF CONTROL!

18 12 2009
Tayler

What about ShaadadaQuuaaadaBOniiFa…

Yes. I’ve seen this name & that’s EXACTLY the way It’s spelled. It’s really sad. I swear her Mama needs to read this because that’s a damn shame! DAMN SHAME…
Lawwwd Have Mercy. Can you imagine seeing that on a college application?

18 12 2009
MsMel8

Too funny, they messing these kids up before they even have a chance. That’s why my son name is Cameron, that should take him places. lol

18 12 2009
Cristina

This is too funny… My friend had a baby and she even had trouble pronouncing his name. I feel sorry for that child.

18 12 2009
nik

i know a girl named after a car who just named her baby after a damn Beyonce’ song. & of course nobody could talk her dumb ass out of it. all anyone can do is shrug & say, “what do you expect from somebody named after a car?”

18 12 2009
Hope

WOW… someone actually named their child CANDIDA… YEAST INFECTION??? I’m sure the mother was like 14…. Jeez

18 12 2009
melody

OMG i actually know a lady named ABC—a-bee-cee is how its pronounced! gnr

18 12 2009
nicole

OH EMM GEE! I’m reading this while in church waiting for my daughter to finish choir rehearsal & that was a big mistake! I’m laughing so hard! This was so funny & true dammit! I love the ghetto transition names cuz I know some ghetto kids with those names & its an insult to those of us who rnt ghetto & give our kids those same names! Ever notice that even though they have a ghetto transitional name they still say it with the most pronounced blaccent??!!?? Anyway nile (btw, maybe everyone thinks it niles cuz of frasier?) thanks 4 the laugh tonite! May u get to 100 posts!

18 12 2009
Quinn

So true my mommy f•••Ed me up…quintetta FML

18 12 2009
Imej The Artist

wow it that a real baby name? well Its possible cause my baby’s name is
la-negroplease

18 12 2009
Toria

Sad, but true. I went to an HBCU (AL State) and there were sum names out of this world like LaQushia, Taywanna, and Mercedes, but “ABCD” took the cake for me. Lol

18 12 2009
kay

What about Condoleeza…. I mean hey she made it happen didnt she and that name is truly ghetto oh and she had a father

19 12 2009
jaykay

true true true…I know a doctor Shanicka and a hoodrat Jennifer….it’s or miss, but you’re much more likely to get a miss Tyranika (father is Tyrone, mother is Anika)

21 12 2009
PokerSnitch

Great point Kay. No need to have one’s name limit him or her. Many do not know that her [name is derived from the Italian musical expression, Con dolcezza, which means “with sweetness”]- per WIKI

18 12 2009
Sharon

Please follow these very simple directions provided above people…cause with a name like ‘OrangarineTangenettApplenetBanana, your daughter will only have a career in the grocery business…in the produce section.
Thanx. Ms. James

18 12 2009
Swirl P.

If only u could get this posted in hospitals across the country. Until then we’re gonna keep SOurH’s. Love your take on things though. It’s nice to know someone people actually listen to has something smart to say & actually thinks the way alot of others think. But who listens to us but maybe our kids or friends? In other words… Thanks & keep up the good work! Luv ya always;)

18 12 2009
Daniela

OMG This is too hilarious n i can SOOOO relate ha ha ha ppl jus come up w/tha most randomest shit now a dayz ha ha ha “ABCDENT” LMFAO Nile ur too much!!! love it tho!!!

18 12 2009
Zilaikha

HaFCUKINlarious! The man is a genius. That picture is priceless…Has to be a Halloween costume. P.S. My name isn’t ghetto it’s Arabic (wink) means something cool but I don’t tell people cause it makes me seem conceided haha. Can’t wait for the next one!

22 01 2010
Jai

I’m pretty sure that’s Zulaikha, but nice try tho. My name is no better. (well maybe a little 🙂

18 12 2009
Yowanda

Absolutely Funny…..

18 12 2009
Neka

Don’t forget alcohol! I know a few Alize’s and Remy’s out there! This is HE-lariousnnn

18 12 2009
latoya

Very funny!!!! I named my kids Malik and Inde, a little ghetto but I liked the meaning of Malik and Inde was the name of my great-great grandmother.

18 12 2009
Boog1028

I agree with this post……as minorities we typically have to work three times as hard to make it. Why do we immediatly place our children with a disadvantage with a name u can’t spell or pronounce? I happen to employ people and if I see a resume with a name that’s ghetto I have a hard time calling that person back because u don’t know what to expect. I still give everyone the benefit of doubt and had both good and bad experience. However we need to do better with naming our children.

18 12 2009
Divaxtra

This is funny the pic is hilarious!!! I just ask them to stop naming these kids things they look nothing like- PRINCESS n the baby look like a gremlin im sorry but its tru, stop taking arabic names n changing the spelling damn idiots!!! Combing the mother/father name together is too funny lol!

18 12 2009
bros_fresh

ahaha… anything da’ la’ ra’ sha’ qua’ ta’ -ika -isha -ella -anna -onda – anda -tay -te’ -dre’ is a damn shame… its ’10 people!

18 12 2009
Cheryl

Funny… sadly funny that you are telling the truth. 🙂

18 12 2009
Tina

This is funny but so true some parents honestly are not aware of the limitations they put on their kids w/ these crazy names. However I do not agree on the names Sydney n Madison those are nice n simple n the right child no matter where they r from can pull it off. My daughter name is Parker Jae and I was actually told it was ghetto, I guess cuz I’m black. I was going for something easy to read spell and also some spunk lol.

18 12 2009
@brainysmurfette

Too funny Nile, as usual. Made me thankful my parents just went with Kenya. No Ma, La, Sha or Na necessary. Lmao *sidenote I know a chic who named her daughter Diamond Princess*

18 12 2009
GRINCH

Nice work my dude..thAt porche Lexus shit always bothered the fuck outta me..keep up the good work

18 12 2009
bigkrisnla

Haaaa! That photo is so specific and it says it all. I just LOVE IT! New friend, I’d like to submit the name Diamond to your list. It’s relatively common these days, but that does NOT make it okay. It’s ghetto! I know exactly who lil Diamond is before I even lay my eyes on her cute lil face… We can do better. You think you’re so classy, but ummm…

That said, my mom ain’t right, she gave me an alternative spelling and that’s ghetto, too! Haaa!

22 01 2010
Jai

Not true. My cousin’s name is Diamond. I have thought hard about it and believe HIS name very accurately depicts his character. He is a very blunt and genuine fellow. He’s also attractive and.. if disrespected will have no qualms about shooting you in the face in front of your kids and grandmother. Think about it.

18 12 2009
Qaiyah

Must agree but those whom see my name always come to the conclusion that it is ghetto. But in reality my name is Ruqaiyah pronounced (Ra-Kai-Yah) in which it is arabic and means “gentle; daughter of the prophet” and is spelled Ruqayyah. Just a lil history for you all reading. Anyway what has really upset is that now the hood has turned it into a ghetto name and they have added Na’s, Mu’s, Ta’s etc. In they so dam ignorant that they dont even know that its a very delicate name and has a meaning. So overall, never judge a name because it may have an origin that we as BLACK PEOPLE are not aware of. And yes some name are just plain GHETTO AS HELL.. My lil cousin name is “Zhaleeazzia” Now u pronounce dat n figure it out.. lmfao! Peace

22 01 2010
Jai

lol, but your name is spelled Ruqaiyah not Ruqayyah. Close enough I guess… *side eye*

18 12 2009
chass03

My sister boyfriend name is Twauncé (too-one-say)! When my sister said his name, it took me 3 weeks to get this Negro name right while my other sister just settled for twinkie. He is named after his mom Twauneceé (too-one-knee-see). The joke is if the news reports a crime involving a black man, he’s the first one we suspect. Lmao!

18 12 2009
Mimi

Ummmmm…. If this is a lesson, you’re using words with too many syllables, and you’re gonna confuse them with the words “prefix” & “suffix”.
These people have no thought about their children’s future…hair, nails & knock offs are priority.
Try simplifying your PSA to hood & maybe they’ll understand

22 01 2010
Jai

lol.. nice.

18 12 2009
Brougham

Sad but true. Kwantaneesha… I actually know a Kwantaneesha!

18 12 2009
HazelRae

I am really feeling this article but first I have to admit my name is kind of ghetto (You all be the judge) You ready? We’ll my name is…..*drumroll*……La’hazel!!! I know, I know horrible right lol. My mom thought “it was pretty” smh. I must admit that it’s unique so I guess I’ll keep it while my baby sister is stuck with Angela.

I will definitely give my future children names that are unique and have a special meaning. No La’s and Nay Nay’s EVER!!!!!! lol

18 12 2009
ShaneeSez

Honor Pillow – (real person, real talk, ’nuff said)

18 12 2009
NATALIEJANEL

THE GUY FROM MY NAME IS EARL, HIS SON IS NAMED PILOT INSPECKTOR.
I KNOW A GIRL NAME SHITFACE. BUT ITS PRONOUNCED SHI-FA-SAY. AND I KNO A KID NAMED MYNIGGA. ITS PRONOUNCED MA-NY-JA

18 12 2009
Mackenzie

Celebrities (of all colors) are some of the worst offenders – no matter how much money you have it crosses the line into child abuse when you name your child crap like

“Audio Science”
“Kal-el” (don’t name your kid after superman
“moxie crimefighter”
“moon unit”
“diva muffin”
“spec wildhorse”

I think people forget they are naming a person not a race horse, a cocker spaniel or a retail store

23 12 2009
PokerSnitch

What? Oh them parents need death..quickly. OMG. The worst names to name children. Too controversial

18 12 2009
Stacey

Loddamercy. Nile. Is. KILLING me!!!!! lol

18 12 2009
Candice

Hilarious! I used to know a girl named… Asthma. Why u ask… I just don’t know. 😦

18 12 2009
BKMiss

I have to say this made me laugh so hard and the sad thing is a lot of my cousins fall into the eeta,quita,etc ending categories and just fall right into your description. Thanks for having the funniest, best blog around.

18 12 2009
Vanessa G

That is so very true. Its like when a person goes in for an interview and on their application says a name like “Taniqua” most interviewers will not even give you the opportunity because A: they don’t know how to say your name correctly. B: They feel with a name like that – you don’t know shit or want to know shit. C: They just don’t want you because of your damn name. The reason I say this is because I did a study like this as a project and it came out to be so true.

Thanks Nile for another interesting point of view.

18 12 2009
Vanessa G

I also forgot to mention… some parents name their children like they would name their dogs.

:Princess
:Tiger
:Nini
:Snookie (knew a girl named Snookie, too)
:Lassie
:Nena
etc……………

18 12 2009
Mackenzie

Or like Bob Geldof who named his daughters
Fifi Trixibelle
Peaches Honeyblossom
Little Pixie

I wouldn’t know if I should pet them or buy them a pole!

18 12 2009
chimmy chang

According to the people here…

Barack Hussein Obama II

should have changed his name…

Because “a potential employer will take 1 look @ the name & toss the application”

Right. Keep bowing down to racial and social pressure.

That’s a great way to change the world.

18 12 2009
sheena

How bout the ppl with ghetto names? I’m sure they know their name is ghetto. I wonder what they have 2 say!

Great blog. “Gas and jeans” was hilarious! Thanks for opening our eyes 2 the white ppl giving ghetto names as well.

18 12 2009
ReLyn

Nile, haha people forget that their child will need to apply for loans, get a job, and live with their name all their natural life. My name means one who sits with the elders. I hope that means I like to gain knowledge and not babysit them. Some of these people give their children names that they cant even spell and it takes the children yrs to spell correctly. I know a Keisha Lacrayola why teh hell would you name your child this and what is up with ppl adding La infront of a name to make it sound fancy…rofl Nile keep the blogs coming I am pissing my pants laughing

18 12 2009
Gina L.

this is HILARIOUS..thank you for callin this out, I hope EVERYONE reads this..this right here needs to be published!

18 12 2009
gw

Hopefully you saved SHAQuita (future WNBA star) with this one.

Good stuff.

18 12 2009
TaShunda

Lets see..where do I begin? I found lots of humor in this post, but the sad part is you are completely right. There are even studies that support your views. I think a lot of time parents give their children these names because they do not want them to have common names. My older cousin named me TaShunda. I know that my name is ghetto, but I like to think its not too extreme. LOL. When I was younger I disliked my name, because it was too long and teachers always mispronounced it. Having a ghetto name does make it harder to find a job, etc. but it’s not impossible. It just means that your qualifications must by far outweigh the “ghettoness” of your name. lol. Oh yeah, There was something else that amazed me. I have a co-worker that is still in college. He just told me a few weeks ago that he has class with a La-a!!!! LOL.

p.s. thanks for starting my days off with a laugh on twitter 🙂

18 12 2009
atirehs

“3. Avoid the Suffix -isha -ika -ita -etta -ay”

My name ends in -ita, but I dont find it particularly ghetto: Sherita.
(kanye shrug)

but yeah the names, the names. I know people who pulled names out of their ass. Some I’ve come across
– Briance’ (sidenote: she was named before Beyonce gt in the business)
-Qiante’ (key-on-tay) and Qiance’ (key-on-say)
-Quesjanee (kay-jah-nay)

you forgot about people and the accent marks in their names and silent letters. like, why do you have a z in your name but its pronounce “paul”? what?

1 12 2010
Nina

It would do you well to watch what you say. All of you, but especially you. Particularly because “Sherita” is not, nor will it ever be “Sarah”, or some other such Anglosaxon equivalent. I’d be interested to know if you’ve ever taken a foreign language, travelled abroad or known anyone outside of your comfort zone. I sense some sort of projection on your part that is wholly inappropriate and you should probably try to find out what that is and deal with the issue. I’m sorry that you hate your own name so much, but try to spend a little more time with people that may not look or sound like you and less on blogs and then maybe you’ll have something more intelligent and worthwhile to contribute to society besides, “but yeah the names, the names. I know people who pulled names out of their ass” and “you forgot about people and the accent marks in their names and silent letters” (ever heard of a little language called “French”… only been around since c. 842). Read a book, take a class, make new friends. Something…

18 12 2009
Ava

Nile-This has been a pet peeve of mine for YEARS!!! Ikas, isha, ima…I SWORE never to give my daughter (Naomi) a name like that. My cousin named her daugher something that none of us can spell much less pronounce so everybody just calls her “ShayShay”….THINK when you NAME YO KIDS!!!
Thank you Nile for a subject that I can truly speak on…signed, someone with a NORMAL NAME!!!

18 12 2009
Mackenzie

My question is, if you run across one of these children with a stripper name like Extasy, Fantasy or Sparkle does a home pole kit and a pair of stillettos become an appropriate 5th birthday present? I mean clearly their parents have prophesied their appearance in glitter and platforms right?

18 12 2009
Inglewood*Gee

HYSTERICALIOUS!!!! Oh well, there goes me naming my future child “Condombroke!”

22 01 2010
Jai

pronounced kuhn-dum-ro-kay (the “b” is silent)

19 12 2009
Neely

I know somebody that named her daughter Aborta, because she was going to get a abortion but didn’t. I feel so sorry for the little girl!!!! be creative not stupid. I love my name but people dont know how to say it!! It’s NEELY not NELLY and it means champion. i never met anyone that had my name and I thank my mom for it, because its unique!!!

19 12 2009
biannah francis

my name is BIANNAH its pronounced like brianna with out the “Are”….it doesn’t hav a meaning…I can neva figure out if my name is ghetto! LOL

19 12 2009
nileevans

BIANNAH, IT’S OFFICIALLY GHETTO! SO NOW YOU DONT HAVE TO BE CONFUSED. LOL JK THANKS FOR THE FEEDBACK!

19 12 2009
BeMajor

ABCD??? ABCD??? really?? Funniest ish I’ve read all day lol

19 12 2009
Gion

My mom named me after my grandfather, John (Gian is John in Italian), but thought Jean, Jane & Joan were too plain & boring. Thankfully she wasn’t the type to come up w/something crazy like J’Onishia. I know a little girl named ShaQ’uondai & I feel so sorry for her! Nile- You are brilliant! I agree wholeheartedly w/you – this ish has GOT to STOP!! Thank you!

19 12 2009
[pronounced rah-nee-see-ah]

this is HI-LARIOUS! and somewhat true. I know I went through a time where everyone kept calling me Ranisha which isn’t my name. It’s Ranisia which comes from my mother’s first and middle name (Rhonda Denise). Add a lil spanish flair (pops is from Panama) & my mother’s love for Buddhism (Rani means “queen” in Hindu) and there ya have it.

but…
the most ghetto name i came across was this one:

La – sia

it’s pronounced La Dash Shia!

No joke! LMAO

19 12 2009
NiMA

DID YALL FORGET ABOUT DA BLACK CHICK IN THE WHITE HOUSE NAMED “CONDALEEZA”?!?!!
Another fact: my name gets mispronounced by blacks more than whites. Oddly enough, I’ve only been hired by white people and my name is Letitia (pronounced la-tish-uh and it’s latin for joy. look it up). I’ve been suspended from school for correcting an English teacher and explaining the logic. SHE OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW!

19 12 2009
NiMA

DID EVERYONE FORGET ABOUT “CONDALEEZA”?!?!!

20 12 2009
RdotTrotter

Hillarious yet unfortunate. I concur…let’s be creative but not make it impossible to get an interview lol

20 12 2009
eyu

Let’s address the real issue here!
Whether or not someone’s name is ghetto should NOT determine
Determine their social status or educational success.
And if you judge someone because of a name they had no
control over, you’re part of the problem in this country.

1 12 2010
Nina

Wholeheartedly agree. Thank you for your intelligent comment.

20 12 2009
Rene

Your blog had me literally laughing so hard my kids had to ask me to be quiet as they were watching a movie. The problem is at the same time I was laughing I started worrying about the name I had given my daughter and then I started thinking……..oh no I hope I didn’t give her a ghetto name and I hope I didn’t set her up to end up pregnant at 16; especially because she is now 16!!! Nile you always give me something to laugh about and to think about at the same time. Oh and for the record her name is Cheyenne and I pray I didn’t bring her into this world destined for the fast food industry.

21 12 2009
Cassy

lmao “This Broad named her kids Gas and Jeans!”
hahaha

nice post nile

21 12 2009
CurseYuAquaScum

That is why I go by my middle name Blair.. My first name is Anisha.. And uh I hate how white ppo stare at me or don’t even make eye contact. But also I gave my son a Biblical name “Isaiah Jame” nothing hella ghetto like De’ontae? Seriously. Good point.. Funny ish 🙂

21 12 2009
kevin

Ok here are some of the craziest names I have heard,
We have heard of deangello but this chick took it too far with here twins
—-> Orangejello and Lemonjello. Pronounced. Oh-ron-jello and Lee-mon-jello ….smh
And another. Name from an indian familyy. Somchit Inthisack, now I work for an insurance co, and see some crazy shit, these are the craziest ones 2 date

22 12 2009
PokerSnitch

Well. I enjoyed the comments thus far. I review applications all the time. I get asked alot “What do you do?” Well, I always review for competency. I actually told someone in an interview who seemed a lil emabarrassed by their name to just put the first initial and use middle name.

-Jankaleckiezata Ann Ferguson… becomes… J. Ann Ferguson
or
– More-gin (pronounced Morgan) N’Tonic Brown …becomes… M.N Brown

Work with what ya got. Also these people did not name themselves. Last I heard 2500.00 to legally change one’s name if one should feel so compelled.

22 12 2009
bros_fresh

lets not forget our Qualeenah’s, Tanjureen’s, matter of fact, anything on THIS list, or close to it http://www.2babynames.com/ghetto-names.shtml
and don’t forget to get on miss Erykah’s ass, forget Toni, the Badu babies are – Seven Sirius, Puma Sabti, and Mars Merkaba. Love her music, but she’s on them ‘noodles’

28 12 2009
Renee

Lol, funny post. It reminds me of my dad b/c he says the same thing about ghetto names. He said “if you have kids, name them something I can spell without having to call and ask you to correct me.” My dumb ass cousin named her daughter Trinity Highniece <wtf? lol.

28 12 2009
Keli

I know a family with the names King, Queen & Prince. They do not look like royalty, either!

28 12 2009
Chandra

I see where you coming from Nile. But I’m slightly offended by it. Its not your fault if your name isn’t European. And I can’t believe people going in like that. Shit so because your mom is fucked up in the name caterogy you have to be fucked up? I disagree… shit I seen someone name Pepsi Marijuana but she’s a LAWYER! I know a bunch of people with “suitable” names who couldn’t and haven’t accomplished that. Don’t let your name define you you define and change the image of what your mother gave you. I feel like our people shouldn’t have to give into white people and names our children Becky and Steve in fear that one day they won’t be able to get a job. FUCK THAT just another form of control. And when we do something that makes it in history 100 years from now Sarah Jackson (a black woman) will be changed to a white woman. But please believe even if they didn’t tell you Barack Obama was a black man 100 years from now they will already know. See those names white people give their children like Elizabeth and Henry have meaning for them

28 12 2009
Chandra

Continue….my phone messed up before I could finish my point. So where I left off…those names have meaning for white people because that’s the name of their ancestors. So now I don’t think you should name your child Television because you like to watch TV…make sure its special and has meaning. You got 9 months to do your research on the name you want like Nile said Candida meant yeast that’s nasty as hell. I have a child and her name is Sahara, I don’t think its ghetto and its definitely not European and it has meaning to me. Now I may have gone too serious on this topic but I took it as Nile was really trying to make a point. Ooh shout out to my beautiful black people with hood names and a college degree! ❤

28 12 2009
Geli

Lol this is too funny and sadly its true. My cousin is a teacher and she has two students named Shithead (pronounced Sha-te-d) and Lemonjello (pronounced la-mon-ge-lo)

28 12 2009
pri-diddy

i don’t have anything to add…you said it all Nilly…this is HYSTERICAL + HILARIOUS = HYSTERIOUS or HILARICAL

30 12 2009
YanpiT

This was a great read and very true. It is one thing to give your child a ghetto name but then on top of that they cant spell it and noone can say it correctly but your happy crack. Give these kids a fighting chance by naming them something they can spell, pronouce and be proud of at all times.

Nile you are SUPER funny keep up the good work.

2 01 2010
Chandra

Ok I was serious on my last post but I did find it funny as all get out lol. Never met an ABCD my lil cousin is in high school and she tells me stories about her ghetto friends all the time and I always stop and and say Whoa they name is what? She says them with such ease smh. But I’ve met some ghetto monsters myself like Meosha and her sister Meyahanta, Quatebeena, Anquette, Deshandria, Iqwil and her brother Eqwil, Noakawala, Rayneeshia and Zenida and her sister Lakeytheea (la-key-thea) and last but not least my cousin’s 5 kids Zirion, Zakarian, Zion, Zamya and Zanya GOTZ TO BE MORE CAREFUL

3 01 2010
B.W.1205

“This is not a 90s R&B Group”…..::DEAD::

::REVIVED::

“This broad named her kids Gas and Jeans.”……..::FLATLINED::

LMAO!!!!!! And I can’t believe somebody legally named their child Nemesis…SMDH

4 01 2010
It’s the first new week of the New Year! Baby Names of the Week for a Happy New - Read More From Our Twitter Friends! . . . | Free Baby Name Book!

[…] RT @spectrumhealth: Spectrum Health ranks top baby names for year, decade. http://bit.ly/8cgdya http://imcoolonthat.com/2009/12/17/ghetto-baby-names/ @nileevans The top 10 baby names of the decade are so white. LaShawn and Tyrone frown upon this […]

5 01 2010
Andi - @andi_SHIF

Hey Nile, you’re hella funny & real & I love following you on twitter, anywho my friend knows a girl named La-a… Pronounced LA DASH UH. Yeah…. In Oakland, ca there’s some ghetto ass names.

5 01 2010
nileevans

LMAO, I BELIEVE YOU. I USED TO LIVE UP IN THE BAY!! THANKS FOR SUPPORTING.

8 01 2010
Renee

I find similarities in the black “ghetto” experience that is also among other cultures, for example among American Indians, our “ghetto” is called a “rez”. Number 1 is certainly one I have heard among my people. It’s interesting and funny you point out that creativity is NOT “Shawn + Jeanetta= Shawnetta”… hahaha, I’ve seen two people combine their names on the rez (the name is not worth remembering) Just sayin…

15 01 2010
tee

i know a teacher that had the ABCD kid — I say “the” because I cannot imagine there to be more than one with that horrific name. In that discussion she also told us of
Orange Jello (or-an-jello)
and the piece-de-resistance…..

Shithead – (Shi-Teed)l.. apparently the “H” is silent….. and this is in LA, i’m wondering what you hear of in the duhty, duhty souf…

15 01 2010
tee

oh yeah…. orange jello has a sibling……

lemon jello (le-mon-jello)

i shit u not.

19 01 2010
Ronnie

LMAOOOOOOOO OMG AN AWESOME BLOG . I AM GLAD I CHECKED THEM OUT. KEEP THEM COMING A GREAT LAUGH AFTER A LONG DAY

1 02 2010
Nicole

I am definetely feelin this rant. But lately I’ve seen a new development in ghetto baby names-text style names. I met a woman who’s daughter’s name was La-A. Yes, that’s L, A, hyphen, A. Upon reading this, everyone thought the name was prounounced like Leah or La Uh. But this little girl’s name, I’m not kidding you, is prounounced like Ladasha, as in La Dash A……And her mother had the nerve to get an attitude because everyone kept pronouncing the kids name wrong after reading it. Just….wow. What’s next? La*la (Lastarla)?!!!

12 02 2010
Keith KlevaG1

A ghetto name is a terrible thing to have. You can’t cover it like a scare, wash it off like dirt, or take it off like a bad suit. When I was in school people got teased all day over hoodrat names. It’s hard to get a job with a ghetto name. It instantly identifies you as someone not to employee. Every job had a JayQuan who use to hustle PSP’s out the back door of Best Buy. Please consider the future impact that names will have on a person. In the Bible names contained the destiny of an individual. In fact many times when a persons destiny was changed they changed their names. Set these children up for prosperity not prison.

12 02 2010
MrJacobo

HA!!! Smart, honest comedy. TAKe it back baby. Richard Pryor was the realest comedian ever cuz he kept it fuckin real!! you keep it real nile!!! one love

26 02 2010
Elizabeth

I used to hate my name but of course I’m fine with it now and i’m glad my mother has sense I laughed so hard at this article but it is the truth, I can put in an app anywhere and their not gonna know what I am til they see me but every one needs to read this

3 03 2010
Jay

I’ve never met a Doctor or a Lawyer named La’Teneka or any of these outlandish names. My ex girlfriend long ago named her two sons Lavacier and Cavacier (sounds like the liquor) and she wonders why i dont take her calls anymore. I would expect this from Sameisha but never her.

3 03 2010
Aaronboy15

My name is Aaron…and it’s slang for “pimp”. Or maybe my parents just didn’t want to look beyond the first name in the baby name book….i’ll stick with pimp!

5 03 2010
lmichele

Is Cairo or Nailah ghetto? Both have true meanings and Egyptian origin. Cairo meaning victorious and Nailah meaning successful.

6 03 2010
JoniChelle

You haven’t heard ANYTHING, until you’ve heard the name Thomasinakeli.
And no…Thomasinakeli isnt the first and middle name. Its the ENTIRE 1st name!
This bullcoonery MUST cease at once! Damn kids are going to have a hard time pronouncing their name, LET ALONE spelling it!

6 03 2010
Tiffany L.

Let’s not forget the ending “que” or “qua”. So glad my mother gave me a name that does not indicate anything about my background.

8 03 2010
Jaden

In my opinion baby’s name can have influence on their career future and in their life and is among one of the greatest gift the parents can give to their child.
I don’t think that people naming their kids after the city or state is of any justification…..
I don’t think that this kind of names
make any sense…..
Well, I feel lucky and thanks my parents naming me Jaden.

8 03 2010
cheechee

HAHAHAHA…I HAVE A WEIRD NAME…NO ONE IN THE WORLD HAS IT I DONT THINK…BUT IT’S NOT GHETTO…YET..LOL.

10 03 2010
Rachael

I agree with you Nile about ghetto baby names. As a mother myself, I decided to give my son the name Jacob because it was a nice, simple name and I knew that he wouldn’t get side-eyed like crazy everytime he introduced himself to someone. I just wish that these new mothers (and it’s not just the young mothers either) would understand that when they give their child(ren) a “unique” name, they’re setting them up for a whole lot of disappointment in the future.

17 03 2010
melanie

ay? ma name shaniqua!!!got a problem wit it biotch?

18 03 2010
Yolanda

hahahahahahahaha I volunteer at a school for cheerleading at a middle school and the names that these girls have are out of control, I don’t even volunteer in an urban area. i have had J’dajah I call her j because i can never get it right i met a young man named lemonjello (leh-mon-jah-lo) and the best one yet is Shauntopeia Tricola…her daddy name was Shaun and her mom name was Topeia. I had no words I just called her Miss Tricola

18 03 2010
Sherricka

Hilarious! I can think of a few people that needed to read this before giving birth… poor kids.

23 03 2010
Charissa

I agree that some of these names are crazy but i am a fan of unique names no im not talkin about ABCD but i pregnant with my first baby and i have a few names in mind and they all having meanings! I am not going to post them cuz in the past when i share baby names people like to steal em! I named my neice and her name is Jah’kiriana! A few other names of my friends kids are promyse unique, Te’asijah, Shyteaha, Marquianna, Ma’kiyah, Ay’Naisjah, K’Xiona, and there are many more! Some of these names are ghetto but some of them are really cute!!

7 05 2015
Pam

You must be a young mother? Sorry but these names are awful….nothing cute about them or the apostrophes!

27 03 2010
pam

My daughter heard of some girl named Le-a…..pronounced Ledasha

8 06 2010
LaShanda

NILE!!! I thought about you today!!! You know I work in a hotel and I had lobby duty, where one of the managers has to stand in the lobby and greet guests and engage in conversation, like we care…today, I saw a prostitute in the hotel (we treat everyone the same…even if they look like a ho) but she had the cutest baby!! I asked her what her baby’s name was and are you ready for this? KRISTINAAMIRACLE. Thats right…all one word..I’ll break it down..Kristina-a-miracle…all one word, pronounced how it sounds… here is her reason why… she prostitutes and uses drugs so it was a miracle by Christ that she had the baby because she didnt know she was even pregnant until she went into labor….she had no clue she was pregnant because she the drugs kept her skinny and she only craved sugar when she was between highs…yes, she told me this…in the lobby!!! AND Before you ask…. I WORK FOR A FIVE STAR PROPERTY!!! But she assured me that she was a good parent, because her baby daddy is her pimp and then she showed me the a tat on her back…a picture of her boss/baby daddy…. talk about setting your child up for failure!

3 11 2010
Basin Taps ·

LMFAO have very cheesy songs but i do like their songs *

28 11 2010
Ms_White

My name wasn’t the problem… it was my initials… Melissa Anne Yalena O. I’m a freakin’ condiment… Yes very tasty I know… LOL… But… still.

2 12 2010
Migraine Relief

LMFAO is a good band, i like those hilarious MTV they make on youtube -`;

17 04 2011
gabrielleg

I think the name Fuckahoe beats everything…a dad, who is a pimp, wanted his son to follow a legacy…really? This os the most ghetto

5 01 2012
Automated Marketing

A major distraction…

I caught my nephew looking at your website instead of doing their homework….

7 05 2015
Pam

I thank God I was born to older parents. You can’t go wrong with Pam and combined with my surname, sounds very Ivy League. I’ve done very well in life and credit both my parents for this. However, my older siblings, who all had normal names, fell into that hood rat naming shit and their kids hate their names and felt it held them back even though they aren’t ghetto.

One of my nieces used her middle name on job resumes because her first name was so ghetto. Another niece was hell bent on giving her daughter a normal name because of name discrimination she faced in life and yes name discrimination exists, so please keep this in mind.

One of my Asian friend’s uncle owns an accounting firm, and she told me when they come across ghetto names, the resume goes right in the trash, regardless of how qualified the applicant is. So don’t think for one minute it’s just whites who discriminates against those names, other races do as well. Here is a list of names of people I went to school with as well as my nieces and nephews;

Etoy
Nikkevious
Tandricka
Kemontay
Keterricka
Mingkoya
O’Derriyon
Mignon
De’Shante
Lashovia
Shabookiyay
Deetron
Reneeka
Wykela
And the list goes on. Most of the people on the list ended up in jail, pregnant at a young age or flipping burgers. 2 or 3 went on to become professionals.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




%d bloggers like this: