There are common and uncommon names, in the world, but one thing I am sure of, is that there is some little Black Girl who is about to take her first breath into the world…see the first person in her world… and hear the worst name anyone could ever think of… in the World. “Oooh Girl! Yo new baby La-Tayshaniquamanesha is so beautiful” …Unfortunately her Mother and “Absentee” Father have set her up for a LIFE FAIL. To help avoid this we can follow a couple simple rules:
1. Do not try to mix your two names together. Shawn+Jeanetta does not = Shawnetta. Kenya + Andre does not = Kendre [This is not a 90’s R&B Group (ex. BellBivDevoe or Jodeci)…this is your CHILD!]
2. Avoid the Prefix De, D’, La, Tay [Your not French or Italian]
3. Avoid the Suffix -isha -ika -ita -etta -ay
4. Do not name your child after a car, type of purse or cologne or a dumb ass NOUN.
5. Avoid Actors and Athletes. We have enough Kobe’s and Beyonce’s to go around now.
See, names like that don’t make it to the Suburbs. They don’t go to College. They get pregnant at 16 just like her mother did…BECAUSE SHE CAME INTO THE WORLD DISADVANTAGED, AND NOT IN FINANCE, BUT IN MONIKER.
We all know the ramifications of having a BAD name, whether it’s BEING THE BUTT OF JOKES, EVERYONE KNOWING THAT YOU ARE FROM THE HOOD, OR MOST COMMONLY GETTING A JOB OTHER THAN THE FAST FOOD INDUSTRY.
But WHITE PEOPLE shouldn’t think they are exempt. These celebrities Chris Martin (Coldplay) and Gweneth Paltrow named their child “APPLE”. Bruce Willis and Demi Moore: RUMER, TALULLAH BELL and SCOUT???? WOWZERS!… And fellow Black Celebrities like Tony Braxton with children named “Deizel” and “Denim”. This Broad named her kids Gas and Jeans!
Lets be creative People!! You don’t have to name your child, Sydney or Madison which I now group as GHETTO TRANSITION names, since some of these Hood Children damn sure don’t fit those names. All I ask is that you be CREATIVE and MEANINGFUL, so that if the name does sound Mildly Ghetto, they can redeem it by saying “KELAKAYKAY” means “Beautiful Spirit” in Swahili (*side eye look*)
My name is Nile (not NILES), a it’s a very self explanatory name and it’s of African descent. It’s originality makes it a creative choice, since there are not many that have the name, but it’s more AWESOME because… I’M FUCKIN FINE!!! But anyway…
These are some ACTUAL GHETTO NAMES I have heard of and come across:
- Peter Rabbit – This is come real childrensbook bullshit, but an actual name of a person I know.
- Nemesis – Beautiful little girl with a HELL of a name.
- Candida – Wikipedia : Of ..“YEASTS” and not cookin yeasts.
- And the best of all is pronounced “Ab-suh-dee” but spelled… “ABCD”
- MAN, WHAT THE FUCK?!… ABCD?? Maybe it would be more fitting if her name was: “ABCDENT” …because that’s what she was!! Yet, I digress…
THERE’S A LOT OF THINGS I’M COOL WITH…..BUT GHETTO BABY NAMES???… I’M COOL ON THAT!!!!
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photo credit :karim Iliya